I’m counting down the lucky ten who made the 2015 Compendium of Swoonworthy Men, which is an incredibly prestigious and important honor that will probably go down as one of the top three things the honorees have every accomplished! Or it would, if they either weren’t dead/knew that it exists! You can check out numbers Ten through Eight here. And you can see who came in 7th, 6th, and 5th below!
2015 Compendium of Swoonworthy Men
Number Seven: Jon Hamm
“Does he fit your awkward/not arrogant criteria?” I hear you ask, skeptically. And you’re right to be dubious! But Jon Hamm unequivocally qualifies for the 2015 Compendium. Don Draper does not. Don Draper is a fucking nightmare. But Jon Hamm? Oh yes. Jon Hamm definitely qualifies.
Have you seen Jon Hamm in anything other than Mad Men? Like Bridesmaids? Or his guest appearances on 30 Rock or SNL? His complete and utter willingness to be a little silly and poke fun at himself is wonderfully refreshing. You know that Jon Hamm is never going to throw a temper tantrum in a restaurant because he doesn’t think the waitress is refilling his sparkling water quickly enough. (Don Draper would totally do that. And he would complain that the sparkling water was not Scotch). And maybe its because Jon Hamm was not famous, or even particularly visible, before Mad Men. Sure, he had some small parts on television shows and in movies, but he mostly worked as a waiter. Or a softcore porn set designer. Or teaching eighth grade drama at his high school as thanks for their support. Or having this hair on Singled Out.
In addition, Jon Hamm has been with his girlfriend, the supercool Jennifer Westfield, since 1997. There are few things more attractive on a man than being in a long term relationship with an age appropriate partner.
And finally: check out those hands.
Number Six: Buddy Holly
According to my very scientific and not at all anecdotal research, there are Buddy Holly girls and Elvis Presley girls. Buddy Holly girls tend to be drawn to shy, slightly awkward types who let their amazing talents speak for themselves instead of loudly insisting everyone recognize their greatness through insane entourages and ridiculous demands. Elvis Presley girls… don’t.
I am here to tell you that I would have been all over Buddy Holly like white on rice.
The fact that he died so young, and so tragically, makes him even more endearing. You do indeed cry when you read about his widowed bride, who he proposed to on their first date.
You know what else makes me cry? The fact that that time Gary Busey, who played the title role in The Buddy Holly Story, hit on me at a horror movie convention is the closest I will ever get to Buddy Holly.
Number Five: Jemaine Clement
Is it Business Time? I think it’s Business Time.
Not only does Jemaine have the adorably awkward/beautiful hands thing working for him – he’s also from New Zealand. So, accent bonus points for Jemaine. Jemaine also scores very high in the self deprecating sense of humor department and the not being a total dickwad to women department. Also, he named his kid Sophocles!
Jemaine has a new film out – a vampire mockumentary entitled What We Do in The Shadows. It will be in limited release in the United States shortly, so you should check it out.
There’s also a rumor going around that there may be a Flight of the Conchords reunion. Until that happens, I will leave you with this to tide you over.
Check back for the rest of the list this week!