I’m presuming by now you have all heard the huge, earth shattering news. Unless, of course, unlike me, you have a full and active life (or, at the very least, a weekly bus trip to the library to look forward to), in which case, let me be the first to tell you…
There’s going to be another auction of Joey Ramone’s things.
The first auction was last winter, and there was some mild controversy over it – namely, as to whether or not it was a cash grab by Joey’s relatives. I expect there is going to be more controversy over this one, given the renewed interest in the Ramones following Tommy’s death. I really don’t have much to say on that front. No decision as to how to dispose of a dead rock star’s things will ever be lauded as the “right” decision, and I doubt this decision was made lightly. Also, Joey has been gone for thirteen years now. He’s not going to suddenly burst through the door and start shouting, “Oi! Where the fuck do you think you’re going with my DVD player?!” except for in some very weird, very specific fan fiction.
All that being said, I think it’s normal, as a fan, to feel a bit sad about these things. It’s like a neon sign flashing, “Hey y’all! Here’s a big reminder that that person you really like is dead!” I have a suspicion that the family may be preparing to sell Joey’s apartment, as the upcoming auction contains items like his entertainment center, his TV, and his couch. (That faint shouting you’re hearing is Patrick yelling, “You don’t need Joey Ramone’s couch!” from the other side of the room). Indeed, I do kind of wonder who is going to be buying stuff like that, because Patrick is quite right – I don’t need Joey Ramone’s couch, and I wonder about the ability of, say, his Sega Game Gear TV tuner pack to find a good home. Especially with a minimum bid of $200. And while it does feel like a punch in the gut to see things Joey may have used everyday catalogued, priced, and sold to the highest bidder, my only real opinion here is that I hope these things go to real fans who are going to love and cherish them, and not to some creepy dude who “flips” celebrity memorabilia on eBay. In my head, this guy uses a lot of hair gel and also sells mobile phones at a kiosk at the mall.
He is basically Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino.
Ok, now that I’ve explained that my feelings on this matter are completely irrelevant, I would like to tell you more about my feelings anyway. And those feelings are that I would be completely over the moon to own just almost anything being featured in this auction. Let’s take a look at some of the highlights:
Some of my favorite albums are featured here, which makes my little fangirl heart explode – I have a lot of the very same records as Joey Ramone! Joey Ramone liked Sleater Kinney! That being said, both here and in Joey Ramone’s CD collection there is a bit more Rod Stewart than I would have expected. Enough Rod Stewart, frankly, that if Joey Ramone and I had a real relationship that existed outside of my head, I would probably have a talk with him about the amount of Rod Stewart in his life.
You all have thirty seconds to make your crass jokes about “getting into Joey Ramone’s pants.”
Fact: wearing Joey Ramone’s t-shirt automatically makes you the coolest person in the room. Even if you are in the same room as Quentin Tarantino, Debbie Harry, and Beyonce.
I want this most of all. I think it’s beautiful. I’m sure it says something very life affirming in Sanskrit. I would likely not lose it down a sewer grate because it slipped off my ridiculously tiny wrist. It would be perfect.
A girl can dream.
You can check out the rest of the auction – including lyrics and Simpsons cels – here. It starts October 16. Good luck, cretins!